“water is thicker than blood.” what a silly thing to believe.

what happens to a person when the bloodline is severed? what does family mean?

water may be the only substance. connecting us. to the slippery nature.

of belonging. to all things.

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deep well


is the only trauma

people are expected to be grateful for.

aren’t you so lucky? aren’t you so glad?

you’re not with those monsters. anymore.

confusing ancestry. for destruction.

pain. as character defects.

convinced that i descended

from heroin and cocaine

unable to see

the humanness and beauty

in my mother’s name.

feeling only. anger.

in the cracked ribs

of a b a n d o n m e n t.

my mouth clanging

from the metallic taste of truth

none of us are perfect.

and that deep well of sadness

is the truest thing. about me.

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i am a bridge

between two worlds

whiteness in my winter skin

lightness in my eyes

but i turn golden in the summer

and my nipples are brown

“you have an ethnic pussy.” she said.

my mexican. only seen in the dark.

i don’t even know. my father’s tongue.

english dripping with shame.

what right. do i have.

to claim? that i am half chicana

but it’s like firewater in my veins

i burn with passion

rage my sweet drink.

to think! that i can feel

my ancestor’s pain

and. wear the face.

of the oppressor.

i am at war. with myself.